Loving an Addict – Communicate Smarter, Not Harder
My clients who love an addict or an alcoholic often get very frustrated by their inability to have a complete and mature conversation with their loved one. There seems to be a short circuit that takes what they hoped would be a logical conversation and shunts it right into the ground. Once that happens, the conversation loops and swirls in ways that don’t make any sense. Things quickly spin out of control, leaving lots of messy drama and trauma. “I can’t figure out what went wrong!” they say to me in frustration. They start to feel crazy in an upside-down world.
Why is this such a common phenomenon? The truth about addicts is that they stop maturing emotionally when they start drinking or using. Finding ways to escape discomfort became their strategy rather than going through the normal stages of emotional growth. So, if your alcoholic started drinking at ten years old, you are dealing with a ten-year-old. If your addict started numbing out at 14, you have a 14-year-old on your hands.
Crossdressing Terms and Definitions – The Transgender Community Has a Language All Their Own
The first time I had a wife tell me that her husband was crossdressing, I realized I was ill prepared to counsel her and especially unprepared to talk with her husband. Since then, I have learned the language of the transgender community and thought I would share with you a few of the most commonly used terms.
o Androgynous – Someone whose gender is not obviously apparent based on outward appearance.
Sex and Modern Communications
I am often embarrassed when I am watching what is rated as a “G” or “PG” movie with my grandchildren when the language becomes questionable and bare bodies fill the screen in some form of tortuous embrace. Before it gets really raunchy, I just turn it off. However, I am always concerned about the aftermath; often angry that my grandchildren should be exposed to such perversion of a communication media. There is no need for sexual innuendos — implicit or explicit — or for foul language in order to be dramatic, novel, and entertaining.
It seems that no matter where we turn, there are bodies in various states of undress on the screen — whether of a large scale video receiver or of a cell phone. It has been estimated that as many as 25% of the commercial websites are pornographic, a figure which quite frankly I found hard to believe; or perhaps I don’t want to believe it. It seems that every writer must use four letter words — even if they become seven letter words with the appendage of “ing” — for dramatic effect. The same is true, of course, of many video series and motion pictures. Such language has even penetrated the board room and business meetings.
Get Your Ex Back: Initiate The Communication
At the point after breakup, you tend to bombard yourself with a lot of questions. Where did it go wrong? This is basically a phase of the after math. You undergo a denial stage where you basically cannot accept yet what has been happening. You tend to assume that things are all the same. Hoping that this is just a simple conflict.
Days and weeks later, without compromise, you realize that things are just not the same, nothing is quite the same. That’s when you result to anger. Later on, you get into a bargaining stage where you tend to be needy and begging for your ex back no matter what it takes. When things don’t go well, you undergo depression. Weeks and weeks of frustration and sulking around looking for answers. And then, finally, after a specific time of moving on, you finally accept the outcome.